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Cerro Negro Volcano and the Laguna Asososca swim July 14 as well as Salinas Grande Beach July 15

Cerro Negro Volcano & the Laguna Asososca swim July 14 as well as Salinas Grande beach July 15


So today we had an early start at 7:30 we left with Eron our driver, Marginne my assistant down here, and Julie & I. Miller had to stay back with Carla our nanny here at Casa Leonesa.

We drove the short 45 minutes to Cerro Negro volcano, a HUGE black lava volcano that smolders as you drive up to the entrance. It’s all the black lava rock. It has an edge of being dangerous as it last erupted in 2007. When you arrive you have to pay $5 USD to get in. They have bathroom facilities and have some new “animal or wild things” are that are securely “gated up” this year it was iguanas and of all things gamish hens. Last time it was snakes.

Cerro Negro is famous for volcano boarding, which is where you sit on a board that resembles a snow toboggan. You climb about 1 hour up this bloody volcano, then you put on what amounts to a one piece “jumpsuit” or “coveralls,” some beer googles (I mean googles, oops) and some gloves. It will scare the living shit out of you as it is steep as all hell…plus…like 5 years ago this moron tried to break the land – speed record on a mountain bike and got going like 100 mph and then his bike flew apart and he almost broke every bone in his body. Yeah. Well on this board you get going about 50 MPH but there is good news. The lava is so light, it’s “almost” soft. You get to the bottom in about 45 seconds. The ride feels surprisingly long actually! My Julie did it in 2009 almost 2 months pregnant so it’s very do-able even for the biggest pussies.

Anyway, we will have pictures, video, and a blog about volcano boarding with Bigfoot Hostel, my man Phillip Southan is the ORIGINAL guy that had volcano boarding. Now there is like 100 knock offs.

By the way, I have to bitch a tad here.  What is it about eco-tourism or green travel that attracts non profits and people that do not use deodorant nor shower? There is nothing “Green” about stinking or having BO. I’m so sick of this aspect of a business I’m in I could puke.  There’s a bunch of bullshit tour operators here now in Nicaragua (Costa Rica REALLY takes the fuckin’ cake on these but now we are getting invaded) with these douches that have this “oh we leave no footprint”  except you drove a mutherfuckin truck to get to your eco lodge and all “eco” usually means is they turn off the power at 12 midnight to 7 a.m. so you can’t read a book or you get to sweat your ass off as there is no AC.

That’s not “eco friendly” it’s ignorant. Where are the solar panels? The wind power? At least here in Nicaragua they have geo thermal power plants which is WAY ahead of good ol’ Uncle Sam’s coal plants and Japan’s nuclear disasters. What I’m saying here is let’s stop lying to people in “green” travel as tour operators and actually BE GREEN. I’m determined with NicaEco to do just that. Next year I want to import our first hybrid sport utility here to Nicaragua. I didn’t see one effin hybrid in Costa Rica when I was there. The costa rican travel model is one big lie on eco tourism and it pisses me off.

There’s now a new scam here. “Go do XYZ tour and ‘a portion of the profits go to help kids in Nicaragua.’ Yeah, what portion? 10%? Half? Who knows? It’s not regulated down here. Stay away from assholes that pretend they don’t want to make money. They scare me. They can hide behind their “non profit” if they hurt or kill you. – our Nicaragua study abroad division, as well as our parent for alternative spring break trips to Nicaragua are S corporations in the US. That means you can sue our ass if we screw up. Yeah. If you are an American the reason you go with an American firm are:

1.)    They mess up you sue them, even if they screw up in Nicaragua.

2.)    They know about American customer service and expectations.

I love Nicaragua but the locals they still are 10 to 15 years away from getting what us yanks want in terms of service or handling our expectations.

I’m also finding a hell of a lot of more or less college kids or college professors that came to Nicaragua that now want to bring people here. They have no insurance. They have “years of experience” – yeah, in coming to Nicaragua themselves to party. That’s a far fucking cry from bringing in people as a tour operator. Don’t take such a stupid chance.

Ok, off my soap box of stinky people promoting eco tourism giving 1% of profits to “kids in Nicaragua” and pretending to care about the earth but hauling people’s asses around central America in old ass trucks.  I saw one (I won’t mention any so called non profit’s name here) using old, old gas cargo trucks to move people that get 5 miles to a gallon with no emissions on the truck. I took a picture of their old ass truck so if they take issue with me they can eat butt. That’s a bunch of crap.


So we drove to the base of Cerro Negro and took some pictures. Looked like the moon.

Then, Eron our driver took us more or less on some cow path road for about an hour and a half to the top of where the Laguna Asososca is (lagoon which is a lake in the mouth of this crater of a small volcano) We were about to die from the bumpiness of it but finally got there. WELL worth it!

Several videos up of not just us swimming but of the climb down to the lake and climb back up at

The climb back up is a bitch if you are out of shape. No, I’m not. Eron our driver though he puked about  3 times on the way back up sitting down several times. Julie my wife kept saying when he got back in the landcruiser (she and marginne trudged way ahead so they didn’t know as I waited for him I was worried just a tad) anyway Julie kept saying “did you eat Eron?” Did you eat your sandwich?  “Eron, did you eat?” I’m like yeah, he ate it. He’s not answering her and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and say look the dude not only ate it he puked it up and I know this as I saw the puke! So I just kept trying to change the subject and the poor guy got out and ralphed again. And then again. Yep, he ate his sandwich alright, but I bet he doesn’t have turkey, mustard, lettuce and tomate on his sandwich anytime soon though hahahaha J

Luckily it was only 45 minutes back to Leon. Once back we went to Jardin Secreto again our favorite pizza joint here and had pizza with roma tomatoes, jalapenos, and pepperoni on it.  As I always recommend in Nicaragua when ordering, we got it “se puede cocinar buen?” Which sorta means can you cook that shit really good? I even make a joke and say “cerca de negro per no negro” with my mediocre Spanish so they know we REALLY want it cooked well done. This serves two purposes. 1.) It keeps you from getting sick from undercooked food and 2.) they tend to undercook everything you shouldn’t from bacon to cheese.  Word of advice. I DO NOT get sick down here and I swear it’s from asking for it like this.

Once back we saw The Transporter with Jason Stratham on this Venezuelan MOVIE channel we get with CLARO satellite at casa leonesa. The TV programming is ULTRA random hahahaha!

In the morning, I had to get up as Miller was fussing at like 6:30 am and walk from our bedroom along the courtyard to the kitchen to get him a bottle as one he has it he usually settles down for another hour or so. My laptop is set up on this table by the pool and something told me to check it. When I did, there was an email from my mother in law Linda – she had missed her flight. If you haven’t ready my 2nd post on this Nicaragua trip, you should on this blog. It describes the Nazis at Continental. Seems Marxism is spreading in the airline industry as she as she was booked on Delta and guess what? If you are now even 1 minute late for an international flight they cancel your ticket. Sure, you can take the next flight for $400.

What the F. Suggestions airlines used to make have “overnight” became costly rules that passengers are 100% not aware of. They used to suggest being to the airport 2 hours prior for international flights. Now, be there 2 hours prior or get cancelled. What? This is fraud. Eventually foreign airlines will also overtake US airlines as they don’t pull this shit.  Such a shame. And shame on these people at Delta & Continental as the thing is, eventually you screw over your own friends and family with such policies.

If airlines would STOP focusing on “operational efficiencies” and bullshit fees and START focusing on service things would change for them in terms of profits. None of this crap happens at Southwest. Guess what? Makin’ bacon as in makin’ money over at Southwest.  Treat people like you’d treat your own Mother and your business will GROW IN LEAPS AND BOUNDS.  Now with that said, I’m not going to be pushing tequila shots on my mom like I do on spring break hahahha – love you mom!!!


Jeez, the rants. First people with BO next airlines. Sorry!

So when we got up I was in a flurry of work to a.) get our hotel stay on Little Corn Island changed to Sunday instead of Saturday as my mother in laws flight had gotten moved to Friday b.) get our airline tickets on La Costena airlines (the national airline here that moves people from Managua to Big Corn Island – a BAD ASS airline by the way! You get to EMAIL this ONE GUY to get a ticket! Wow right???

Anyway, got all done – FREE. Try that the US once.

My wife was upset but I was like look toots, let’s go to Salinas Grande today and see the Bigfoot Surf School which is a day camp to learn to surf.

We left at 12:30 p.m. in pouring rain, drove the 1 hour there with Eron (easy drive, very interesting from Leon) and THIS IS THE BITCHIN’ BEACH I knew Nicaragua had….WOW is all I can say!!!

The Bigfoot Surf Camp is run by the Bigfoot Hostel, but this little old Nicaraguan dude  owns the house on the beach they run the camp, or area they do lessons from, out of.

When you arrive, you get fresh watermelon and pineapple. Next, its to the long boards (semi long) for about 15 minutes of out of water instruction. Then they bring you in one at a time if you have never surfed so you feel really comfortable. The beach and the waves were SICK.  Water temperature I’d say 82 or 83 degrees maybe 85, rolling sets sorta not perfect as it was high tide at 2 p.m. I went swimming and Robbie the instructor went out so I could get some video. I’m going down surfing soon it was just getting late in day and I wanted to get my video and photos done and head back. Man, I’ve ONLY seen one beach down by San Juan del Sur I could say was that perfect to learn to surf on as it was a sand break. Funny thing is, no bay either. Open ocean coming in really smooth and not too aggressive. The current was sorta strong but just by shore not out about 40 yards and beyond. Some DECENT shoulder height waves just not long breaks. Rides very short. It’s in the AM I guess you get HUGE lines rolling in. We shall see, blog & video coming soon.

Anyway, out by there is Isla Del Venado which is cut off the shore and is not much of an island but is a protected sea turtle sanctuary. What’s sad about Nicaragua is the Sandinistas haven’t figured out the way to turn this country around isn’t by oil from Venezula or propaganda or even giving two shits about the US – but protecting this place like Costa Rica has done. THAT will, in the future, overcome all of the problems inherent in Nicaragua like roads, electricity, non-USA standards on service, etc. Plus hurricanes and volcanoes, I mean seriously this is a pandoras box for sure.

The fishery here WILL COME BACK. They have zero laws on fishing, Make them. Enforce them. Enforce reef protection out on the Corn Islands like Belize does. The water is as clear as Belize but little fish as these guys have fished it out. Same with the beaches…protect HUGE swaths of land while you can. There are VERY few people living in this country and if they passed sweeping environmental laws they could REALLY bump tourism up here. Not tomorrow, but in years to come. They desperately want to model after Costa Rica but they just aren’t getting how to do it. There are far too many greedy people at the top here, much like before when Somoza was in power. The people here talk about that a lot.

Costa Rica is OLD news. Guatemala and El Salvador are still unsafe. Honduras as well. That’s half the battle. Now, protect this untouched habitat. Build MASSIVE wind farms and solar. They aren’t tied to the middle east like the US. Venezula, sure. But Venezula sells them oil at half the market price of OPEC. Thing is, that oil is then resold at a profit to the government to other places in central America instead of being used by the people. It’s a shame. But screw the oil. Go around it.


Tomorrow, Julie goes 1.5 hours from Leon to the capital of Managua to fetch her mom Linda. I will stay behind with Julie & work on optimizing my videos on youtube and such. Again, if you want a visual on what we are doing down here, go to for daily video updates or feel free to email me – or The thing is I DO NOT HIDE behind our corporate veil. You can still book a trip with me directly instead of using one of our Agents or our websites – but you can if you don’t want to do it with me over the phone or via email.


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